If I'm upset by something, I tell the source. If I'm annoyed by something, I tell the source. If I need to ask for help from someone, I lay it out exactly as I see it. If I need to compromise, I do so.
Maybe it's unfair of me to expect the same behavior from others. See, when someone asks me for help, I either say I can, I can't, or I can if this changes/happens. I am as honest about my needs and expectations as I wish others would be.
That means that if I ask you for something, I would like to hear, "Yes, I can do that if you do such and such." Or, "No, sorry, I cannot."
What I don't want to hear is, "*huff* *sigh* I suppose I can do that." Because if I ignore the passive-aggressive parts, what I hear from you is, "I can do that." and I take you at your word, because I expect to be taken at my word.
If what you meant to say was, "Yeah, I'll help you, but can you meet me halfway?" then we enter negotiations where my primary goal is always to find the best solution possible for all parties involved. Sure, it includes selfishness on my part, I won't try to deny it at all... my secondary goal is to get everything I want.
Unfortunately, when people get passive-aggressive, they're not being honest about their needs or desires, which only ends up hurting them.
I read between the lines, I hear the message you're trying to convey, but if you're not being honest with me, I consciously choose to ignore the subtext and just go with the text. And I do this because I am honest with you. I try very hard on a daily basis to remove all subtext from my communications, and I think I'm quite successful.
I feel it is a measure of my respect for you that I be honest and forthright in all of my dealings with you, and I would hope that you would extend the same respect for me.
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