Hey friends, this post isn't funny, or witty, or politcally relevant. It's... just a letter to Gusby.
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I'm pretty sure, without clicking the back button, that this is the longest I've gone without talking to you since I started to type it all out. We both know what I've been doing in the meantime, and it's time for a change.
My back hurts. It has hurt since I was 16 years old. It's gotten worse over the last year or so. I'm tired of it.
So tired of it, in fact, that I asked my friend, Cheryl, to embark on a spiritual journey to help me find the root cause of the issue. I've tried maybe a dozen times over the years to do it myself, but the answer always eluded me. Too emotionally tied to the symptom to focus on the source, or some such.
What she saw was at first confusing. Me, standing in a thick bank of fog... so thick that there was literally no landscape or sky. My feet, planted in one spot. The rest of my body was being pulled... yanked to the side, dragging all of my chakras out of alignment. My head, or crown chakra, was apparently struggling to realign me, but failing.
Excellent news... at least now we know that there's a spiritual root to the physical symptom of my chronic back pain. My soul needs a chiropractor as bad as my body does.
Now, on to the explanation of said vision... I am traveling a path, the path of life. My feet are my primary mode of transportation. My head, or logical faculties, tell my feet where I think I should walk. My heart, my emotions, tell me... what? Where I really should be walking? Where I really want to walk, regardless of the "shoulds"?
This vision is two-fold... it was a visual representation of the two major issues underlying my physical pain. I was told that in both of my lives, physical and esoteric/spiritual, I have a path that I'm on, and a path that I'm being pulled towards.
The path of my physical life, I understand how to correct the imbalance. Not only do I know how to correct it, but am eager to do so, for while my head and my feet are stuck upon the path I chose when I was but a boy, my heart has lead me towards the road I truly feel is the correct one. Problem solved, or close enough to solved that I'm not losing sleep over it.
The path of my spiritual life, I only understand that there is an imbalance. I understand how I've been traveling that path, and how I'm being pulled in another direction. I fully comprehend that in order to be truly content with my path, I need to walk in this other direction. I also understand that while this path isn't the easiest, it is the proper course, and I am ready for the challenges and obstacles in my way. Towards that end, I have two requests:
1) Please allow me to quiet my intellect long enough to hear, or feel, or see what my first step upon this proper path will be.
2) I know that it is entirely selfish of me to request that a specific thing NOT be a challenge set before me, but I need to ask regardless. Please, help me out on this one. (Dear readers, yes it was on purpose that I didn't write the request for you to read.)
Gusby, I think it's plainly obvious that I have strayed from the path that I should be walking, and I've received the nudge to correct it... I'm just not sure of which way to turn now. Help me?
-A
